Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Began to fuss and fight
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had hurt him out of spite.
You are so lame, you nicked your name
And simply go by ‘Dee’.
I’d bear such shame to do the same
You’ve made a fool of me!

 
There’s a thing on our swing!
He was not invited
But he’s swinging and singing
And getting excited.

He’s clearly unclear
That this is our yard.
What creature would show
Such a bold disregard?

He’s too big for the swing
And I’m worried he’ll break it.
The crossbar is bending
And I just can’t take it.

He is large and he’s strange
But he’s clearly naive
And he’s got to go.
Go tell him to leave.

“I can’t be late to school again!
They’ll mark me tardy in red pen
And who knows what will happen then?”,
Said Glen.

“We should throw away my bed
And get a catapult instead
To fire me out and overhead!”,
Glen said.

“And this alarm clock isn’t right
We should set up and ignite
A 40,000 watt spotlight!
All night!”

“Changing clothes is such a waste
Of time that’s better spent in haste.
I’ll have them permanently placed
With paste!”

“The flight of stairs just slows my stride.
We should switch it with a slide
For the quickest slickest ride
Inside.”

“And what about the family car?
It seems to be a bit subpar-
A rocket’s best from where we are
By far!”

And Glen had lots of good designs
From breakfast served on sharp inclines
To ways to cut the bathroom lines.
(Dig mines.)

He shared another thought or ten
Then walked out proudly from the den
And looked up at the clock and then…
Saw that he was late again.

The potatoes have eyes
And to my surprise,
The corn has ears as well,

And on my walks,
The celery stalks,
As far as I can tell.

It’s true, I dread
The lettuce head
My way but I’m in denial.

I’m in constant fear
Of the vegetables here,
Here in the produce aisle.

Tall people like their ice cream in sundaes.
Short people prefer theirs in cones.
People in glasses text a lot
While those in hats talk on their phones.
People with blonde hair wear green on Mondays
While people with red hair wear blue.
There are a lot of things that we can prove
With a sample size of two.

My sister’s not as great as she will tell you.
She says she does a lot that isn’t true
She claims she really “gets the best of me”,
She gets my worst and doesn’t have a clue.

She says she knows just how to “push my buttons”
But I have zero buttons to be pressed!
I’m not some metal robot or computer!
I’m just the brother of a pushy pest!

Read More →